I KNOW men & women are different, I get it. We think with our heart, honestly… sometimes I don’t think they THINK at all. I’m not bashing men, or at least I don’t mean to (certainly not all men) – I LOVE men! I was daddy’s girl, I appreciate my fab BF more than you can imagine & my guy friends are some of the best people in the world. But there is an issue, with SOME men, that has my panties in a bunch.
When a relationship ends, it seems men move on SO damn fast. If it’s a breakup, while the girl is crying in her cosmo for weeks, if not months & God forbid, YEARS… the guy will be on match.com or out with some floozy by week’s end. The girl will analyze every tiny detail of the relationship and wonder what could’ve been done differently, then take some time & re-group before even thinking about dating again. The guy will never look back. When I went through my worst breakup ever – it all went down on Super Bowl Sunday. I spent the first of many days on the sofa, crying, trying to force down a bowl of mom’s homemade macaroni & cheese (seriously – is there a better comfort food than that?). He went to a party & I’m pretty sure didn’t shed any tears there. To this day – the Super Bowl makes me cringe a little… & this was 8 years ago. One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend, they were still talking & trying to “figure things out” when the dummy guy emailed OUR friend Julie & asked her out on a date. He got the wrong Julie…. he MEANT to email another girl. So much for the reconciliation. So much for waiting a full week before getting back on the horse.
And that’s just a dating. What about when you lose a spouse? We all know Bob Kraft mourned his “sweetheart” for a few months before taking up with a girl young enough to be his granddaughter. I’m starting to think that’s the norm. A family friend recently lost his wife. They were a wonderful couple, married for 40 years — to his credit, he took care of her until the bitter end. Then 3 weeks later he was on e-harmony. NO KIDDING – NO EXAGERATION…. THREE FUCKING WEEKS. He hadn’t cleaned her closet or picked a tombstone & he was dating. What is it with (some) men? Can they not take care of themselves? Do they lack the coping mechanisms women have? I’ve heard similar stories about men, but have never heard of a woman doing it. I understand life goes on. I know it’s possible to find love again…. I guess the part that creeps me out is that he went looking for it… and so soon! Nobody asked — but in my opinion, it’s disrespectful.
I believe there are other factors more important than gender when it comes to how quickly someone gets over an ex. Also consider the fact that many guys cope with the loss of a relationship by immediately getting into another one. On the outside it appears they have moved on, but really they are hurting and just trying to distract themselves.
I think it comes down to coping & how people (specifically men / women) go about it so differently…. It’s something women deal with & spend a long time getting over & sometimes they never do. While (some) men seem to take short cuts around the pain/grief. And I know I’m generalizing… This is just my opinion based on personal experiences. But I agree a new person may just coping mechanism.